HELP!!!

My last post with this title was about laundry, and now I really wish that was all I needed help with!!!

I know that probably only a handful of people read my blog, but my hope in writing this entry is that among that handful there are a few mommies that have that typical first born female living under their roof, because I need some serious HELP!!!

Most people don't believe me when they say that I struggle at home with our oldest little lady. Now, she is a sweetheart, and I do love her very much (this goes without saying); however, lately we have really been struggling with who calls the shots around here. I feel as if I am in a power struggle all day long with her. We are so much alike, and our sin unfortunately is also very much the same.

I am having one of those weeks where I feel like a failure as a mother, and it is as if all of my apologies to her and my "please forgive mommy" pleas don't even matter. Maybe it's because I will be asking for forgiveness one minute and then in the next breathe I am barking an order or speaking harshly to get my point across. I know my own selfish pride is really clouding my thoughts right now. So, if anyone has any insight on the subject or wisdom to share... please let me in on it!

Meanwhile, please pray that there will be peace in our home in the midst of frustration!

Nikki Kay

That's what Ben has been calling me for the past week; ever since I began my new career as an Independent Consultant for Mary Kay!!! Now, you might be thinking to yourself what in the world would Nikki Parmer be doing in the Mary Kay industry. That's a great question! It all started when I went to a party a couple of months ago, and decided to help my friend out by ordering their basic skin care system. Most of you probably know that I typically have horrible skin unless I'm pregnant. Well, since I'm not pregnant my skin has been acting up lately. So, I agreed to try the product, but I had no intentions of reordering because I knew my skin would probably completely flip out. When my skin not only looked better and healthier after just a few weeks I started to become more interested in this product, because believe me I have tried everything that is out there.

I was blown away by the way my skin felt and looked, it's not perfect, but it's better than it ever has been post pregnancy. I was intrigued, so I hosted a party for my friend, and decided that I would try their powder. This was a huge risk for me, because I have used the same brand since I was 15, but I liked their skin care so much that I thought I would try something else. (Plus, this powder is cheaper than what I was using) Anyway, I also really liked the powder. It's funny, because I told Ben that I feel like a grown up. Using a skin care product that works and not Purpose soap from Wal-Mart. Using powder that makes me feel all pretty because it shimmers:) It's been funny, and so unlike me!

However, I am not writing this for a sales pitch. I am writing this, because after 3 babies and millions of loads of laundry I think somewhere along the way I stopped feeling pretty. I stopped caring what I looked like because I was just going to smell like spit up by the end of the day anyway so why shower??? That was my mentality. Now, don't hear me say that being at home with my kids has not been a joy, and don't hear me say that beauty is what you see on the outside, because I know what God's Word says and I know that beauty truly comes from the inside out and not a product. However, it has been nice to treat myself, to make myself feel like a woman again. My husband hasn't minded it so much either:) It's also been great for my kids to see mommy get excited about something!

So, I begin my journey this week with orientation, and I got my starter kit last week. I am really looking forward to seeing what the Lord has in store for me and the women that I will meet. It should be fun, and in the words of my sweet and supportive husband... "Pink Caddy Here We Come!!!"