Ben and I are very thankful for the pediatric care our kids have received here in PR. We left this morning at 8:00 and headed to the Doctor's office. I always get a little bit anxious on days that we have to go to the doctor. But, let me give you the run down on the morning...
We arrived at the office at 8:40 and signed in. I went to the restroom, and when I got back to the office I hadn't even sat down when they called our name. We went back to the examination room, and there was our Doctor sitting down waiting on us!!! It was a great visit! Our kiddos are doing really well, and the doctor spent so much time with us answering our questions!
Lydi is growing so much, bless her heart; she had to get two shots today. But, she was such a big girl! We're going to go pick up daddy at noon and head to McDonald's to have a treat. The McDonald's near our house has such a fun play area, and not to mention really yummy ice cream!
Thomas weighed in at 10 pounds nine ounces. He's growing a ton as well. I thought at first that our little man might actually look a little bit like his mommy, but nope! The bigger he gets, the more he looks like his daddy. I thought for sure he would look like me, since Lydia looks exactly like Ben, but Oh Well!
So, to summarize the reasons why I am thankful! I have two healthy babies, and a pediatrician that doesn't make us wait for a million hours to see him. We we were in and out so fast then Ben was still able to make it to his morning meeting!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
It's already been three weeks? Thomas' arrival from Nikki's perspective...
It's hard to believe that three weeks ago today, I was holding my son for the very first time. I guess it has taken this long to really process the day and all that went into his arrival. I know Ben has already posted his perspective of the day, so now it is my turn. I'll start from the beginning...
For me, I went into the day of Thomas' arrival feeling very confident that everything would run smoothly, and as I woke up at 4:45 I kept thinking that I was only a few hours away from meeting our newest member of the family. The week before his birthday I spent six hours back and forth from the hospital to the doctor's office working out all the details. I spent four hours pre-registering at the pre-admissions office, and I spent about 2 1/2 hours at my doctor's office making sure that he would be there for the surgery as well as working out what time to arrive and so on. Sidenote: during my appointment the week before my doctor reassured me that he would be the one to operate on me, and the other doctor in the practice would be assisting him. I felt safe with either doctor, but the one that was supposed to do my surgery was the one I had seen the most and was most comfortable with. I'm getting off track, so let's go back to my confidence as we get ready to go to the hospital.
I had been walked through every step of where I needed to be when and what I needed to do. So, I gave Ben the run down (he had stopped going with me to my doctor's appointments at this point, because he actually has a job that he needed to go to, and he couldn't wait once a week with me at the doctor all day). We were to go to the 2nd floor to the fetal monitoring room, I even got to meet the woman that would be monitoring me for one hour prior to the C-section. As far as I knew, I would go to this room and be monitored for one hour, then I would immediately be prepped for surgery and within just a few hours I would be in our room. I was also told that I would be in recovery for one hour and unfortunately Thomas nor Ben could be with me, but it was only for an hour, so no big deal.
My doctor tells me to arrive at the hospital at 6:00, so I could be the first person to sign in and therefore the first one to be seen. I leave the hospital very encouraged and ready to have this baby!
We get up early Monday morning and arrive at the hospital at 6:10. We get the car parked, and we're signing in by 6:20. I was told to find someone on the 2nd floor and they would take me to the monitoring room. I had a piece of paper with the nurse's name on it. All I needed was this piece of paper and we would be taken care of... now is where the fun and chaos begin.
I found a man in a blue blazer (meaning that he was there to help me and could speak a little bit of English). I had him my piece of paper, and he tells me to go to the 3rd floor. I instantly get this feeling in the pit of my stomach, because already I was being told to do something different than what I had been told previously. But, no big deal, we got on the elevator and as the doors were closing the guy comes to the door and says... "So, are you here for the...?" and motions to his stomach as if he is having it cut open. I said yes, I'm here for a C-section. "OH," he says then
you need to sign your name and go wait upstairs, someone will call you. I went over to the list, and much to my surprise I was number 20 on the list. Oh me, once my name is on the list we go to the 3rd floor and sit down, waiting...
A woman comes over and asks what we are waiting on after about 30 minutes. I told her I was waiting to be monitored for a C-section. She tells us to follow her. We go into another room and she says, "wait, someone will call you." We wait. Someone comes in just a few minutes, and there is an instant problem with the language barrier. We can't seem to find a nurse that speaks English, and I have no idea what the lady was asking me to do. Turns out that the lady on the 2nd floor that I met hadn't shown up for work yet, so I would be monitored on the 3rd floor instead. They tell Ben that he needs to go wait outside while I'm being monitored. I proceed to follow this nurse to the nurse's station. They are all frantically trying to find someone that speaks English, and my assumption is that they were unsuccessful, because I was told to follow this nurse into a room on the 3rd floor (except I wasn't actually told it was all communicated with hand motions). I go into this room and I needed to go to the bathroom, so I ask the nurse where the bathroom is, and I ask can I go. She says yes, and shows me where the bathroom is (all in Spanish). I go to the bathroom, and when I come out she's gone. No one is in the room. I sit down on the bed, confused and anxious. I sit and sit after about five or ten minutes I decide to go look for the nurse. I walk out the door, and I see her coming down the hallway.
She walks into the room, and tells me to lay down on the bed as she hooks me up to the fetal monitor. She then proceeds to ask me questions in Spanish. I keep telling her that I don't understand. She tries her best to communicate some of the questions in English, but it was not going well and she was getting frustrated. She's asking me all sorts of medical questions, at one point she just started skipping questions because she couldn't communicate, and I didn't understand. I thought to myself, "that's really comforting, I'm about to go in for a major surgery and she's just skipping questions... oh well." I realize at one point in this process that she is a bit confused about who my husband is. See, she asked me who my emergency contact was and I told her Chris Teague. Then she asked me who my husband was and I told her Benjamin Parmer. Somehow, in the midst of this interview process she got those switched, so it wasn't until the next day in the hospital that we worked out the fact that Ben was my husband NOT Chris. We found this quite humorous.
So, I am hooked up to the monitor, and all is well with the baby. I feel reassured and after one hour I'm back out in the waiting room with Ben. Once again, we were told "wait here, someone will call you." We continue to wait, and then we are directed to go down to the 2nd floor again, and wait in this area OUTSIDE!!! We had no idea what this place was, and we thought I'm 38 weeks pregnant, no where to sit, it's really hot outside, surely we won't be here for long. Three hours later someone actually calls my name and I go into another room and give another lady more information. She tells me to put on my hospital gown and then I would go to this room where I would be prepped for surgery.
She asked if my husband would be in the operating room, and I told her yes. I had been asked this before, and everytime I told them yes, he would be in there with me. She then asks me for the piece of paper. I did not have a piece of paper, nor did I know I needed one. She asks me, "did you pay the fee for your husband to attend the surgery?" Nope, I didn't know there was a fee. So, she calls Ben in the room, and tells him that he has to go downstairs to pay the fee at the registration desk, and come back to get suited up for the procedure. Here I am in my hospital gown scared to death that Ben would not be able to be in there for the surgery. He leaves to go pay the fee, and then I am sent to another room where there are about five other women in hospital beds lined up again this wall. I am put in one of the hospital beds, and to my knowledge this is where I will receive the i.v. and then will go into the O.R. I have yet to see a familiar face, and Ben still had not returned. I also had no idea what was going on, it was all guesswork.
Finally, I see a woman who seems to be one of the doctor's working on this floor, and I think she noticed that I seemed a little panicked. She comes over and explains to me in English that I would soon be getting my i.v. and then as soon as the O.R. becomes available I would be taken down there for the surgery. The hospital where we delivered is extremely small, so the prep room as well as the O.R. and recovery room is the same for all the patients having a procedure done. So, it wasn't just women having a baby, it was all surgeries for that day. I guess this is why I had to be by myself a lot, because there wasn't a lot of room for extra people.
I finally see Ben, and they make him go wait in a room until I am ready to go down to the O.R. The woman comes over and puts my i.v. in, and then a man comes over to talk to me. He would be the one doing my spinal block, and he spoke English as well. He actually lived in Birmingham for a while, and I was so thankful for being able to talk to him. Not long after he spoke with me, it seemed to be my turn, because he came to get me and wheel me to the O.R. Ben is still not able to come with us at this point, because he couldn't be in the room when I got my spinal. I kept worrying about how I would communicate that I wanted to make sure he was there. Another concern I had was that I had not laid eyes on my doctor all day long!
It's probably around 12:30 at this point, and I am waiting in the hallway for the O.R. to become available. I start to get anxious again, and I am reminding myself the whole time about scripture dealing with fear, and knowing that I just had to rest in the Lord! I go into the room, and it's time for my spinal. I meet another man who is assisting and he had lived in Chattanooga. He was another blessing, because he was with me from this point on until I went into recovery. So, I get the spinal all goes well, and then I realize that I still haven't seen my doctor. Ben comes into the room, and then the other doctor comes in. I realize at this point that my other doctor probably wouldn't be making it. Of course, that's what happened.
I remember Ben being emotional as they were performing the surgery, but I felt good the whole time, and I knew that God was in complete control. Ben didn't watch the procedure this time around, he just stayed focused on me until they told him to get ready with the camera. After about 10 minutes I heard the sweetest sound... the cry of our son. Thomas Wilson Parmer had arrived, and he sounded good. The one thing that I was most concerned about was that he would be big enough, and that he wouldn't have any trouble breathing on his own. The first thing the doctor says is, "he's a big, healthy baby boy." He weight 7lbs 14oz. and was 21 1/2" long, so that prayer was definitely answered.
Ben does not even get to hold Thomas one of the assistants brings him over so we can see him, and then off he goes with Ben following him to the nursery. This is where I start to get really nervous. Now, I am alone in the room being sewn up, and my son and husband are not with me. I am doing OK, because I know I only have one hour in recovery and then I will be with both of them!
I get wheeled to recovery and I'm lying flat on my back, they told me that they would sedate me after the procedure, but I told them no. I go into a room where there are other women recovering, and in this room no one speaks English. Or at least not at first. I'm lying there flat on my back with the shakes freezing to death, watching the clock and counting down until I am able to be taken to my room. An hour goes by, and I realize that I am getting some feeling back. I am in serious pain at this point, but I have no idea how to tell anyone. Finally, someone comes over and asks me how I'm doing. I tell them that I am getting my feeling back, and starting to feel a pretty good amount of pain. They send a nurse over and she gives me a shot in the butt. I didn't really feel the shot, until the next day! It didn't really touch the pain, but that was my only option.
A man comes over after about an hour and a half and I ask him when I will be able to go to my room. He asks someone to translate for him, and he then tells me that it will be another 2 1/2 hours because they have to wait until the 3:30 shift change. What the ?????? I was not a happy camper, and at this point, I knew I could not lay there like that for another 2 1/2 hours. A nurse came over and explained that they would get me to my room as soon as they could, so I decided that my only option was to lay there and try my best to be patient. About 45 mins. later, they come over and tell me that I will be going to my room. Another 45 mins. goes by and it's actually happening, I am begin wheeled out of recovery.
The first thing I see is my sweet husband's face, and he is worried sick. I didn't know it at the time, but he had no idea what was going on the entire time I was in recovery. I also didn't know that he had not even been able to hold our sweet little son. We get up to the 3rd floor and our on our way to our room. I forgot to mention that there are three types of rooms at the hospital; semi-private, private, and suite rooms. The semi-private rooms had to be shared and Ben could not stay with me. I had already told the guy doing my pre-registration that we wanted a private room. He told me that would be fine, and when we were discharged from the hospital Ben would need to come down and pay the difference. We're set, so I thought.
We go up to the 3rd floor, and I am being wheeled into this huge room. I am glad I noticed, because sure enough they were taking me to a semi-private room. Bless the guys' heart that was wheeling me around. He did not speak English, and at this point I lost it and began to cry my eyes out. I tried to tell him that we wanted a private room and not a semi-private room. He asked me if we had paid for the room. Of course, we had not because I was told to do that when we left the hospital. So, Ben had to go down to the pre-admin. desk once again and pay for us to have a private room. The entire time I am crying upstairs, still lying flat on my back, in a tremendous amount of pain and all I want to do is hold my baby!!! I tell the nurse, I am OK, but "yo quiero mi bebe." I just kept saying it over and over, meaning I want my baby!
Finally, Ben returns and they take us to a different room. On our way to our room, I see Ben's parents, our little Lydi, and a couple on our team the Burchs'. I immediately start crying again, as I try to communicate to them what a tough day it has been! Lydi has no idea why her mommy is lying down and crying and then to top it off Ben nor I had seen Thomas. I actually think Ben was able to go in and see him at some point during the day, but we still had not held him. We get to our room ,and Ben goes down to check on Thomas in the nursery.
He comes back and says that they were trying to get his body temp. stabilized, and as soon as they did that then they would bring him to our room. He was born at 1:26, and at 7:30 we were able to finally hold him. I was so overwhelmed with the day that I don't even remember much about that evening. I just know that he was precious, and I was so glad to be able to finally have him in our arms. He stayed with us and did not go back to the nursery only when he had to for tests. The days that followed in the hospital were not as stressful as the first, but still really tough. We could not communicate and had very little knowledge of what was going on. I was in A LOT of pain the first couple of days, and I could not wait to go home. We were able to leave on Thursday, even though we had to wait and wait for someone to bring a wheelchair so we could leave. I was so frustrated, and I wanted to just walk out, but we waited and were home by about 4:30 that day.
All in all, it was a crazy experience, one that was really tough to walk through. I know that the Lord had His plan the whole time, and even though it didn't look like I thought it would He is good and so are His plans!!! Thomas was healthy, I was healthy, and Ben was super stressed out! We've been home for 2 1/2 weeks, and I have really recovered well and quickly. Thankfully, we made it through having a baby here in another place and culture. We can look back at the day now and know that yes we would do things differently if we had it to do over again, but the truth is that we learned tons. It was hard in the midst of it to keep perspective, but the Lord constantly reminded me of the need to be patient, and still before Him. He has and had our best interest at heart, not only us but our ENTIRE family.
So, that's the story from my perspective. I know this was super long, and for those of you that took the time to read the whole thing, thanks! It's good for me to "relive" that day, but I am thankful that I won't have to go through it again!
For me, I went into the day of Thomas' arrival feeling very confident that everything would run smoothly, and as I woke up at 4:45 I kept thinking that I was only a few hours away from meeting our newest member of the family. The week before his birthday I spent six hours back and forth from the hospital to the doctor's office working out all the details. I spent four hours pre-registering at the pre-admissions office, and I spent about 2 1/2 hours at my doctor's office making sure that he would be there for the surgery as well as working out what time to arrive and so on. Sidenote: during my appointment the week before my doctor reassured me that he would be the one to operate on me, and the other doctor in the practice would be assisting him. I felt safe with either doctor, but the one that was supposed to do my surgery was the one I had seen the most and was most comfortable with. I'm getting off track, so let's go back to my confidence as we get ready to go to the hospital.
I had been walked through every step of where I needed to be when and what I needed to do. So, I gave Ben the run down (he had stopped going with me to my doctor's appointments at this point, because he actually has a job that he needed to go to, and he couldn't wait once a week with me at the doctor all day). We were to go to the 2nd floor to the fetal monitoring room, I even got to meet the woman that would be monitoring me for one hour prior to the C-section. As far as I knew, I would go to this room and be monitored for one hour, then I would immediately be prepped for surgery and within just a few hours I would be in our room. I was also told that I would be in recovery for one hour and unfortunately Thomas nor Ben could be with me, but it was only for an hour, so no big deal.
My doctor tells me to arrive at the hospital at 6:00, so I could be the first person to sign in and therefore the first one to be seen. I leave the hospital very encouraged and ready to have this baby!
We get up early Monday morning and arrive at the hospital at 6:10. We get the car parked, and we're signing in by 6:20. I was told to find someone on the 2nd floor and they would take me to the monitoring room. I had a piece of paper with the nurse's name on it. All I needed was this piece of paper and we would be taken care of... now is where the fun and chaos begin.
I found a man in a blue blazer (meaning that he was there to help me and could speak a little bit of English). I had him my piece of paper, and he tells me to go to the 3rd floor. I instantly get this feeling in the pit of my stomach, because already I was being told to do something different than what I had been told previously. But, no big deal, we got on the elevator and as the doors were closing the guy comes to the door and says... "So, are you here for the...?" and motions to his stomach as if he is having it cut open. I said yes, I'm here for a C-section. "OH," he says then
you need to sign your name and go wait upstairs, someone will call you. I went over to the list, and much to my surprise I was number 20 on the list. Oh me, once my name is on the list we go to the 3rd floor and sit down, waiting...
A woman comes over and asks what we are waiting on after about 30 minutes. I told her I was waiting to be monitored for a C-section. She tells us to follow her. We go into another room and she says, "wait, someone will call you." We wait. Someone comes in just a few minutes, and there is an instant problem with the language barrier. We can't seem to find a nurse that speaks English, and I have no idea what the lady was asking me to do. Turns out that the lady on the 2nd floor that I met hadn't shown up for work yet, so I would be monitored on the 3rd floor instead. They tell Ben that he needs to go wait outside while I'm being monitored. I proceed to follow this nurse to the nurse's station. They are all frantically trying to find someone that speaks English, and my assumption is that they were unsuccessful, because I was told to follow this nurse into a room on the 3rd floor (except I wasn't actually told it was all communicated with hand motions). I go into this room and I needed to go to the bathroom, so I ask the nurse where the bathroom is, and I ask can I go. She says yes, and shows me where the bathroom is (all in Spanish). I go to the bathroom, and when I come out she's gone. No one is in the room. I sit down on the bed, confused and anxious. I sit and sit after about five or ten minutes I decide to go look for the nurse. I walk out the door, and I see her coming down the hallway.
She walks into the room, and tells me to lay down on the bed as she hooks me up to the fetal monitor. She then proceeds to ask me questions in Spanish. I keep telling her that I don't understand. She tries her best to communicate some of the questions in English, but it was not going well and she was getting frustrated. She's asking me all sorts of medical questions, at one point she just started skipping questions because she couldn't communicate, and I didn't understand. I thought to myself, "that's really comforting, I'm about to go in for a major surgery and she's just skipping questions... oh well." I realize at one point in this process that she is a bit confused about who my husband is. See, she asked me who my emergency contact was and I told her Chris Teague. Then she asked me who my husband was and I told her Benjamin Parmer. Somehow, in the midst of this interview process she got those switched, so it wasn't until the next day in the hospital that we worked out the fact that Ben was my husband NOT Chris. We found this quite humorous.
So, I am hooked up to the monitor, and all is well with the baby. I feel reassured and after one hour I'm back out in the waiting room with Ben. Once again, we were told "wait here, someone will call you." We continue to wait, and then we are directed to go down to the 2nd floor again, and wait in this area OUTSIDE!!! We had no idea what this place was, and we thought I'm 38 weeks pregnant, no where to sit, it's really hot outside, surely we won't be here for long. Three hours later someone actually calls my name and I go into another room and give another lady more information. She tells me to put on my hospital gown and then I would go to this room where I would be prepped for surgery.
She asked if my husband would be in the operating room, and I told her yes. I had been asked this before, and everytime I told them yes, he would be in there with me. She then asks me for the piece of paper. I did not have a piece of paper, nor did I know I needed one. She asks me, "did you pay the fee for your husband to attend the surgery?" Nope, I didn't know there was a fee. So, she calls Ben in the room, and tells him that he has to go downstairs to pay the fee at the registration desk, and come back to get suited up for the procedure. Here I am in my hospital gown scared to death that Ben would not be able to be in there for the surgery. He leaves to go pay the fee, and then I am sent to another room where there are about five other women in hospital beds lined up again this wall. I am put in one of the hospital beds, and to my knowledge this is where I will receive the i.v. and then will go into the O.R. I have yet to see a familiar face, and Ben still had not returned. I also had no idea what was going on, it was all guesswork.
Finally, I see a woman who seems to be one of the doctor's working on this floor, and I think she noticed that I seemed a little panicked. She comes over and explains to me in English that I would soon be getting my i.v. and then as soon as the O.R. becomes available I would be taken down there for the surgery. The hospital where we delivered is extremely small, so the prep room as well as the O.R. and recovery room is the same for all the patients having a procedure done. So, it wasn't just women having a baby, it was all surgeries for that day. I guess this is why I had to be by myself a lot, because there wasn't a lot of room for extra people.
I finally see Ben, and they make him go wait in a room until I am ready to go down to the O.R. The woman comes over and puts my i.v. in, and then a man comes over to talk to me. He would be the one doing my spinal block, and he spoke English as well. He actually lived in Birmingham for a while, and I was so thankful for being able to talk to him. Not long after he spoke with me, it seemed to be my turn, because he came to get me and wheel me to the O.R. Ben is still not able to come with us at this point, because he couldn't be in the room when I got my spinal. I kept worrying about how I would communicate that I wanted to make sure he was there. Another concern I had was that I had not laid eyes on my doctor all day long!
It's probably around 12:30 at this point, and I am waiting in the hallway for the O.R. to become available. I start to get anxious again, and I am reminding myself the whole time about scripture dealing with fear, and knowing that I just had to rest in the Lord! I go into the room, and it's time for my spinal. I meet another man who is assisting and he had lived in Chattanooga. He was another blessing, because he was with me from this point on until I went into recovery. So, I get the spinal all goes well, and then I realize that I still haven't seen my doctor. Ben comes into the room, and then the other doctor comes in. I realize at this point that my other doctor probably wouldn't be making it. Of course, that's what happened.
I remember Ben being emotional as they were performing the surgery, but I felt good the whole time, and I knew that God was in complete control. Ben didn't watch the procedure this time around, he just stayed focused on me until they told him to get ready with the camera. After about 10 minutes I heard the sweetest sound... the cry of our son. Thomas Wilson Parmer had arrived, and he sounded good. The one thing that I was most concerned about was that he would be big enough, and that he wouldn't have any trouble breathing on his own. The first thing the doctor says is, "he's a big, healthy baby boy." He weight 7lbs 14oz. and was 21 1/2" long, so that prayer was definitely answered.
Ben does not even get to hold Thomas one of the assistants brings him over so we can see him, and then off he goes with Ben following him to the nursery. This is where I start to get really nervous. Now, I am alone in the room being sewn up, and my son and husband are not with me. I am doing OK, because I know I only have one hour in recovery and then I will be with both of them!
I get wheeled to recovery and I'm lying flat on my back, they told me that they would sedate me after the procedure, but I told them no. I go into a room where there are other women recovering, and in this room no one speaks English. Or at least not at first. I'm lying there flat on my back with the shakes freezing to death, watching the clock and counting down until I am able to be taken to my room. An hour goes by, and I realize that I am getting some feeling back. I am in serious pain at this point, but I have no idea how to tell anyone. Finally, someone comes over and asks me how I'm doing. I tell them that I am getting my feeling back, and starting to feel a pretty good amount of pain. They send a nurse over and she gives me a shot in the butt. I didn't really feel the shot, until the next day! It didn't really touch the pain, but that was my only option.
A man comes over after about an hour and a half and I ask him when I will be able to go to my room. He asks someone to translate for him, and he then tells me that it will be another 2 1/2 hours because they have to wait until the 3:30 shift change. What the ?????? I was not a happy camper, and at this point, I knew I could not lay there like that for another 2 1/2 hours. A nurse came over and explained that they would get me to my room as soon as they could, so I decided that my only option was to lay there and try my best to be patient. About 45 mins. later, they come over and tell me that I will be going to my room. Another 45 mins. goes by and it's actually happening, I am begin wheeled out of recovery.
The first thing I see is my sweet husband's face, and he is worried sick. I didn't know it at the time, but he had no idea what was going on the entire time I was in recovery. I also didn't know that he had not even been able to hold our sweet little son. We get up to the 3rd floor and our on our way to our room. I forgot to mention that there are three types of rooms at the hospital; semi-private, private, and suite rooms. The semi-private rooms had to be shared and Ben could not stay with me. I had already told the guy doing my pre-registration that we wanted a private room. He told me that would be fine, and when we were discharged from the hospital Ben would need to come down and pay the difference. We're set, so I thought.
We go up to the 3rd floor, and I am being wheeled into this huge room. I am glad I noticed, because sure enough they were taking me to a semi-private room. Bless the guys' heart that was wheeling me around. He did not speak English, and at this point I lost it and began to cry my eyes out. I tried to tell him that we wanted a private room and not a semi-private room. He asked me if we had paid for the room. Of course, we had not because I was told to do that when we left the hospital. So, Ben had to go down to the pre-admin. desk once again and pay for us to have a private room. The entire time I am crying upstairs, still lying flat on my back, in a tremendous amount of pain and all I want to do is hold my baby!!! I tell the nurse, I am OK, but "yo quiero mi bebe." I just kept saying it over and over, meaning I want my baby!
Finally, Ben returns and they take us to a different room. On our way to our room, I see Ben's parents, our little Lydi, and a couple on our team the Burchs'. I immediately start crying again, as I try to communicate to them what a tough day it has been! Lydi has no idea why her mommy is lying down and crying and then to top it off Ben nor I had seen Thomas. I actually think Ben was able to go in and see him at some point during the day, but we still had not held him. We get to our room ,and Ben goes down to check on Thomas in the nursery.
He comes back and says that they were trying to get his body temp. stabilized, and as soon as they did that then they would bring him to our room. He was born at 1:26, and at 7:30 we were able to finally hold him. I was so overwhelmed with the day that I don't even remember much about that evening. I just know that he was precious, and I was so glad to be able to finally have him in our arms. He stayed with us and did not go back to the nursery only when he had to for tests. The days that followed in the hospital were not as stressful as the first, but still really tough. We could not communicate and had very little knowledge of what was going on. I was in A LOT of pain the first couple of days, and I could not wait to go home. We were able to leave on Thursday, even though we had to wait and wait for someone to bring a wheelchair so we could leave. I was so frustrated, and I wanted to just walk out, but we waited and were home by about 4:30 that day.
All in all, it was a crazy experience, one that was really tough to walk through. I know that the Lord had His plan the whole time, and even though it didn't look like I thought it would He is good and so are His plans!!! Thomas was healthy, I was healthy, and Ben was super stressed out! We've been home for 2 1/2 weeks, and I have really recovered well and quickly. Thankfully, we made it through having a baby here in another place and culture. We can look back at the day now and know that yes we would do things differently if we had it to do over again, but the truth is that we learned tons. It was hard in the midst of it to keep perspective, but the Lord constantly reminded me of the need to be patient, and still before Him. He has and had our best interest at heart, not only us but our ENTIRE family.
So, that's the story from my perspective. I know this was super long, and for those of you that took the time to read the whole thing, thanks! It's good for me to "relive" that day, but I am thankful that I won't have to go through it again!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thomas Wilson Parmer Phipps
Well it's official! Thomas has been registered with the Registro Demografico...meaning we will get his birth certificate in about a week. It took me 3 trips to get everything that I needed and help from our neighbors to be able to understand all the forms. In Puerto Rico you have two last names: your Father's last name first and then your mother's maiden name. So it looks like Thomas will have 4 names. This morning I was thinking about his name(s) and thought how cool is it to have 4 last names for your name...Thomas, Wilson, Parmer, Phipps.
Here is a picture of Thomas just before we left the hospital. Elmo was his gift to his big sister. She liked the gift so much that she barely even noticed Thomas.
Here is a picture of Thomas just before we left the hospital. Elmo was his gift to his big sister. She liked the gift so much that she barely even noticed Thomas.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Waiting...
Today was another long day. Nikki's check up was today so we got up early and got the doctor's office by 8:30. It's a trick with an 8 day old and a mom who is still recovering but we still managed to wait 5 hours to the see the doctor. Several times we wanted to leave but Nikki had to get her staples take out today. It's a relief that they are taken out.
On the bright side, we happened to run into a couple that had their baby the same day that we did. They helped us tremendously to navigate the confusion of that day. Lucille had her baby exactly one our after we had Thomas and she was delivered by the same doctor. Israel, Lucille's husband speaks very good English and Lucille wants to learn. So Nikki and Lucille exchanged phone numbers and they are planning on getting together soon.
Tomorrow we will take Thomas to the doctor. We are hoping that it will not be an all day affair but we are growing to expect it to be that way. We've learned that if we plan on being at the doctor for the entire day then we will be pleasantly surprised it the opposite occurs.
On the bright side, we happened to run into a couple that had their baby the same day that we did. They helped us tremendously to navigate the confusion of that day. Lucille had her baby exactly one our after we had Thomas and she was delivered by the same doctor. Israel, Lucille's husband speaks very good English and Lucille wants to learn. So Nikki and Lucille exchanged phone numbers and they are planning on getting together soon.
Tomorrow we will take Thomas to the doctor. We are hoping that it will not be an all day affair but we are growing to expect it to be that way. We've learned that if we plan on being at the doctor for the entire day then we will be pleasantly surprised it the opposite occurs.
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Monday, July 07, 2008
Here he is...
This is the latest picture of our newest addition. Most of you have probably read Ben's story about his eventful arrival, and soon I hope to write about the day from my perspective. I haven't read Ben's yet, because I want to see how different our days really were. We were apart for most of the day except when they actually performed the C-section. So, anyway be looking for the rest of the story soon.
I just wanted to post a new pic of Thomas, and give a quick update about how it has been since we arrived at home. First I must say that it is GREAT to be home! I was so glad to come home to our little girl, and to the familiar. Thomas has been a really good baby, and so far he is sleeping well and eating well; Praise the Lord! It is hard to remember how to take care of them when they are so tiny.
It's also funny how big Lydia seems to us now that we have this little guy in our home. She has been great with her baby brother. I'm not sure she really knows that he is staying indefinitely, but so far she has done really well adjusting to the changes. Grandmother and Grandaddy are still here, so she is getting plenty of attention!
I will try to get some pictures of the two kiddos together and post them soon. I'm not sure that Lydi will be still enough to actually get a picture of them together, but we'll try. Thank you to all of those that have been praying and were praying for us regarding Thomas' arrival. Please keep praying for all of the details that have to be dealt with after his birth. Ben still has to register him so we can get his birth certificate and social security number. Our neighbor came over today to help us with this, because it's all in espanol.
I have a doctor's appointment tom., and Thomas goes to the doctor on Wed. for his newborn check-up. Pray that all goes well and that we both get a good report!!! More to come soon...
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
What a Day...from Ben's perspective
What a day!
This was a hard day but God showed us so much grace through it. We learned several valuable cross-cultural lessons. 1. The way things are done here or in any other culture are not necessarily wrong, just different. Once, you realize that, it changes everything. You are able set your expectations properly 2. The ability to communicate is of utmost importance. Most of our frustration was from not knowing what was going on around us. If we could do it over again, we would have had a translator with us the whole time or have become fluent in the language first. Keep in mind that most of this took place in broken Spanish and broken English.
We departed from our house at 5:45 am to get to the hospital. We had scheduled the c section for Monday but it is first come first serve as to the order of the operations. We got to the hospital at 6:30 sharp. We put Nikki’s name on the list and she was number 20. Our Doctor told us if we get there that early we could go first. Turns out there were only 3 scheduled c-sections with our practice and we were second on the list. Nikki had pre-registered last week and they told her exactly what to do. We were to go and put our name on the list and then see a certain nurse so that she could monitor the baby. Well, that nurse wasn’t there that day. So they told us to go upstairs and wait and they would call our name.
We waited for quite some time and then a security guard asked us what we were waiting for. She asked us to follow her and she took us into the labor and delivery where Nikki was registered again. She was asked many questions that had already been asked last week. The nurse spoke very little English so when she got to a question that she didn’t know how to say she would just skip itJ That whole process took about an hour.
After that, we went back down to the second floor where the surgery would take place. A girl took our information and we followed to a waiting room that was in an outside breezeway. She gave our information to a woman inside a door. Then she told us wait here and they will call your name. We were not sure what we were waiting for since everything we had been told hadn’t worked out as we had thought. We started talking to another pregnant couple and learned from them that we were in the Operating Room waiting area and that we were second in line for c-section surgery and they were third. We waited here for 2 ½ hours. This became more and more miserable as the temperature rose. Although we occasionally got a cold blast of air when they would open the door and call someone back.
Finally they called Nikki’s name and she was in the bathroom. So when she came out we went to the lady who had called her name. She said go to the door and knock on the door. We went to the door and knocked on the door. She said sit down and I’ll call your name. We said, “our name has been called.” We sat down and the couple beside us asked what happened. We said, “who knows.” They said the other lady thinks that you are back there prepping for surgery. She finally called Nikki’s name. Nikki went in, changed clothes and got ready for the surgery.
They called my name and I went in. They asked where is you receipt saying you purchased a Father Kit. We said, we didn’t know what you are talking about. They informed us that in order for the Father to be in the room he has to pay $32 dollars for a Father Kit which is basically the blue suit you wear in the OR room. Later we remember reading about this but had totally forgotten about it. They told me to go to the cashier’s office, pay and come back with the receipt. So I frantically ran down to the cashier’s office to pay for the Father’s kit. I got the receipt and went back up and knocked on the door. She told me to sit down outside and she would call me name.
So, after much confusion trying to communicate I sat down and waited. The couple we had talked to earlier told me that I should go to the other door and try there. So I did and they took me to the dressing room for Fathers. I put on my blue suit and stood outside and waited. We waited another hour before Nikki actually went into the operating room. So, I waited about 15 minutes and they came and got me. When I walked into the operating room I was surprised to see that our doctor was not there. His partner in the practice was there and was the main surgeon. We had never seen the other doctor before. Oh Well, let’s just get this over with.
With Lydia, I had watched the entire surgery. But this time I decided that I would just talk to Nikki and try to hold myself together. Within, about 20 minutes the surgery was over and we could here Thomas crying. Thomas was born at 1:26 PM. They took him over to a table and cleaned him up and then brought him over to us and let Nikki see him. We were not allowed to hold him at this point. One of the assistants then took Thomas up to the nursery. I was allowed to walk with him but still not allowed to hold Thomas. I then followed the assistant back down to the operating area where he passed me off to someone else who could speak English. He told me to get dressed and go wait in that corner. So I got dressed and went to “that “corner” and waiting.
I figured out that I was waiting outside the recovery room. I just didn’t know if Nikki was in there or not. After about 20 minutes, they brought Nikki by to take her into recovery. Initially, we were told this would be for one hour and we thought that I could possibly go with her. But I was not allowed in the recovery room with her. I was told to go and wait for her to get out of recovery. Thomas was born at 1:26 and at 2:00 I was on my way outside to make some phone calls.
Anyway, at 4:30, I began to get worried because I hadn’t heard anything from Nikki or Thomas since 2:00. The nursery keeps the window shades closed at all times due to policy. So I had no idea what was going on with Thomas and we still had not held him. Around 5:00, I decided that I was going to find out what was going on. So I went to the doors at the labor and deliver and waited for someone to punch in the code and open them. I followed them in and went and asked how to find out how Nikki was doing. They told me to go back downstairs to the operating room and go to the recovery room.
So, I went downstairs and stood by the locked doors and waited for them to open. They opened and they were wheeling Nikki out of recovery. What a sight for sore eyes! I was so relieved to see her. She asked me how Thomas was and I told her that I hadn’t seen him. So they took us to our room. Which I thought was strange since it was a semi-private room. We had requested and were told that we could have a private room. In a semi-private room we would share with another patient and I would have to leave every night when visiting hours are over. They told us that we had to pay ahead of time in order to get a private room or a suite but in the preregistration they told us that we would pay when we were discharged. So I ran down, paid for 3 nights in the hospital for a private room. In a private room or any room, we have to bring our own sheets, towels, pillows, hospital kit (bed pan, water pitcher, etc). You also have to pay extra for television, telephone and I’m wondering if we pay extra for hot water because we don’t have any. One plus to the room is that we have air conditioning 24/7…something that we’re not used to.
Anyway, I got the room situation worked out and by the time I got back upstairs they were moving Nikki into our private room. At this point, I decided that one way or another I was going to find out what was going on with Thomas. We moved into our room at 6:00, 4 ½ hours after delivery. I went to the nursery and knocked on the door. They let me in and let me see Thomas. I learned that I could have done this at any point I just didn’t know. The only thing is that I couldn’t hold him. He was on one of those warming tables. The nurse told me that once his temperature was stabilized they would bring him to our room. I asked how long that would take and was told 30 minutes to 1 hour.
So, I went back to our room. At this point, my parents, John and Sue Burch and Lydia had come to visit us. They stayed for an hour and still no Thomas. They were leaving to take Lydia home to put her to bed so I thought that I would try one more time to see if they could at least see Thomas. As I knocked on the nursery door it opened and out she came with Thomas and off to our room. We went back to the room and Thomas has been with us ever since. We finally held Thomas for the first time at 7:00, 5 ½ hours after his birth.
Nikki had a lot of pain through the night and was given 3 shots in her posterior for the pain. This morning they gave her pain pills which have helped a lot. Today, has been much better. They took her IV and catheter out this morning. They also get her a shower and she’s been able to walk around. We feel much better today and communication has been better today as well. It’s a lot easier to communicate when everything is not rushed around us.
We’ve tried to have good perspective through all this that the way they don’t things here is not necessarily bad, just different from our care in Birmingham. It’s been tough but we’ve made it through this by God’s grace and your prayers. Last night, as our guests left, I told Nikki that we are all alive and well and we’ll make it through this. Today, we are all doing much, much better.
We really are thankful for this experience. As stressful as it was at points, we’ve learned how to trust God a little more than we knew how to a couple of days ago.
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