What a Day...from Ben's perspective

What a day!

This was a hard day but God showed us so much grace through it. We learned several valuable cross-cultural lessons. 1. The way things are done here or in any other culture are not necessarily wrong, just different. Once, you realize that, it changes everything. You are able set your expectations properly 2. The ability to communicate is of utmost importance. Most of our frustration was from not knowing what was going on around us. If we could do it over again, we would have had a translator with us the whole time or have become fluent in the language first. Keep in mind that most of this took place in broken Spanish and broken English.

We departed from our house at 5:45 am to get to the hospital. We had scheduled the c section for Monday but it is first come first serve as to the order of the operations. We got to the hospital at 6:30 sharp. We put Nikki’s name on the list and she was number 20. Our Doctor told us if we get there that early we could go first. Turns out there were only 3 scheduled c-sections with our practice and we were second on the list. Nikki had pre-registered last week and they told her exactly what to do. We were to go and put our name on the list and then see a certain nurse so that she could monitor the baby. Well, that nurse wasn’t there that day. So they told us to go upstairs and wait and they would call our name.

We waited for quite some time and then a security guard asked us what we were waiting for. She asked us to follow her and she took us into the labor and delivery where Nikki was registered again. She was asked many questions that had already been asked last week. The nurse spoke very little English so when she got to a question that she didn’t know how to say she would just skip itJ That whole process took about an hour.

After that, we went back down to the second floor where the surgery would take place. A girl took our information and we followed to a waiting room that was in an outside breezeway. She gave our information to a woman inside a door. Then she told us wait here and they will call your name. We were not sure what we were waiting for since everything we had been told hadn’t worked out as we had thought. We started talking to another pregnant couple and learned from them that we were in the Operating Room waiting area and that we were second in line for c-section surgery and they were third. We waited here for 2 ½ hours. This became more and more miserable as the temperature rose. Although we occasionally got a cold blast of air when they would open the door and call someone back.

Finally they called Nikki’s name and she was in the bathroom. So when she came out we went to the lady who had called her name. She said go to the door and knock on the door. We went to the door and knocked on the door. She said sit down and I’ll call your name. We said, “our name has been called.” We sat down and the couple beside us asked what happened. We said, “who knows.” They said the other lady thinks that you are back there prepping for surgery. She finally called Nikki’s name. Nikki went in, changed clothes and got ready for the surgery.

They called my name and I went in. They asked where is you receipt saying you purchased a Father Kit. We said, we didn’t know what you are talking about. They informed us that in order for the Father to be in the room he has to pay $32 dollars for a Father Kit which is basically the blue suit you wear in the OR room. Later we remember reading about this but had totally forgotten about it. They told me to go to the cashier’s office, pay and come back with the receipt. So I frantically ran down to the cashier’s office to pay for the Father’s kit. I got the receipt and went back up and knocked on the door. She told me to sit down outside and she would call me name.

So, after much confusion trying to communicate I sat down and waited. The couple we had talked to earlier told me that I should go to the other door and try there. So I did and they took me to the dressing room for Fathers. I put on my blue suit and stood outside and waited. We waited another hour before Nikki actually went into the operating room. So, I waited about 15 minutes and they came and got me. When I walked into the operating room I was surprised to see that our doctor was not there. His partner in the practice was there and was the main surgeon. We had never seen the other doctor before. Oh Well, let’s just get this over with.

With Lydia, I had watched the entire surgery. But this time I decided that I would just talk to Nikki and try to hold myself together. Within, about 20 minutes the surgery was over and we could here Thomas crying. Thomas was born at 1:26 PM. They took him over to a table and cleaned him up and then brought him over to us and let Nikki see him. We were not allowed to hold him at this point. One of the assistants then took Thomas up to the nursery. I was allowed to walk with him but still not allowed to hold Thomas. I then followed the assistant back down to the operating area where he passed me off to someone else who could speak English. He told me to get dressed and go wait in that corner. So I got dressed and went to “that “corner” and waiting.

I figured out that I was waiting outside the recovery room. I just didn’t know if Nikki was in there or not. After about 20 minutes, they brought Nikki by to take her into recovery. Initially, we were told this would be for one hour and we thought that I could possibly go with her. But I was not allowed in the recovery room with her. I was told to go and wait for her to get out of recovery. Thomas was born at 1:26 and at 2:00 I was on my way outside to make some phone calls.

Anyway, at 4:30, I began to get worried because I hadn’t heard anything from Nikki or Thomas since 2:00. The nursery keeps the window shades closed at all times due to policy. So I had no idea what was going on with Thomas and we still had not held him. Around 5:00, I decided that I was going to find out what was going on. So I went to the doors at the labor and deliver and waited for someone to punch in the code and open them. I followed them in and went and asked how to find out how Nikki was doing. They told me to go back downstairs to the operating room and go to the recovery room.

So, I went downstairs and stood by the locked doors and waited for them to open. They opened and they were wheeling Nikki out of recovery. What a sight for sore eyes! I was so relieved to see her. She asked me how Thomas was and I told her that I hadn’t seen him. So they took us to our room. Which I thought was strange since it was a semi-private room. We had requested and were told that we could have a private room. In a semi-private room we would share with another patient and I would have to leave every night when visiting hours are over. They told us that we had to pay ahead of time in order to get a private room or a suite but in the preregistration they told us that we would pay when we were discharged. So I ran down, paid for 3 nights in the hospital for a private room. In a private room or any room, we have to bring our own sheets, towels, pillows, hospital kit (bed pan, water pitcher, etc). You also have to pay extra for television, telephone and I’m wondering if we pay extra for hot water because we don’t have any. One plus to the room is that we have air conditioning 24/7…something that we’re not used to.

Anyway, I got the room situation worked out and by the time I got back upstairs they were moving Nikki into our private room. At this point, I decided that one way or another I was going to find out what was going on with Thomas. We moved into our room at 6:00, 4 ½ hours after delivery. I went to the nursery and knocked on the door. They let me in and let me see Thomas. I learned that I could have done this at any point I just didn’t know. The only thing is that I couldn’t hold him. He was on one of those warming tables. The nurse told me that once his temperature was stabilized they would bring him to our room. I asked how long that would take and was told 30 minutes to 1 hour.

So, I went back to our room. At this point, my parents, John and Sue Burch and Lydia had come to visit us. They stayed for an hour and still no Thomas. They were leaving to take Lydia home to put her to bed so I thought that I would try one more time to see if they could at least see Thomas. As I knocked on the nursery door it opened and out she came with Thomas and off to our room. We went back to the room and Thomas has been with us ever since. We finally held Thomas for the first time at 7:00, 5 ½ hours after his birth.

Nikki had a lot of pain through the night and was given 3 shots in her posterior for the pain. This morning they gave her pain pills which have helped a lot. Today, has been much better. They took her IV and catheter out this morning. They also get her a shower and she’s been able to walk around. We feel much better today and communication has been better today as well. It’s a lot easier to communicate when everything is not rushed around us.

We’ve tried to have good perspective through all this that the way they don’t things here is not necessarily bad, just different from our care in Birmingham. It’s been tough but we’ve made it through this by God’s grace and your prayers. Last night, as our guests left, I told Nikki that we are all alive and well and we’ll make it through this. Today, we are all doing much, much better.

We really are thankful for this experience. As stressful as it was at points, we’ve learned how to trust God a little more than we knew how to a couple of days ago.