It's already been three weeks? Thomas' arrival from Nikki's perspective...

It's hard to believe that three weeks ago today, I was holding my son for the very first time. I guess it has taken this long to really process the day and all that went into his arrival. I know Ben has already posted his perspective of the day, so now it is my turn. I'll start from the beginning...

For me, I went into the day of Thomas' arrival feeling very confident that everything would run smoothly, and as I woke up at 4:45 I kept thinking that I was only a few hours away from meeting our newest member of the family. The week before his birthday I spent six hours back and forth from the hospital to the doctor's office working out all the details. I spent four hours pre-registering at the pre-admissions office, and I spent about 2 1/2 hours at my doctor's office making sure that he would be there for the surgery as well as working out what time to arrive and so on. Sidenote: during my appointment the week before my doctor reassured me that he would be the one to operate on me, and the other doctor in the practice would be assisting him. I felt safe with either doctor, but the one that was supposed to do my surgery was the one I had seen the most and was most comfortable with. I'm getting off track, so let's go back to my confidence as we get ready to go to the hospital.

I had been walked through every step of where I needed to be when and what I needed to do. So, I gave Ben the run down (he had stopped going with me to my doctor's appointments at this point, because he actually has a job that he needed to go to, and he couldn't wait once a week with me at the doctor all day). We were to go to the 2nd floor to the fetal monitoring room, I even got to meet the woman that would be monitoring me for one hour prior to the C-section. As far as I knew, I would go to this room and be monitored for one hour, then I would immediately be prepped for surgery and within just a few hours I would be in our room. I was also told that I would be in recovery for one hour and unfortunately Thomas nor Ben could be with me, but it was only for an hour, so no big deal.

My doctor tells me to arrive at the hospital at 6:00, so I could be the first person to sign in and therefore the first one to be seen. I leave the hospital very encouraged and ready to have this baby!

We get up early Monday morning and arrive at the hospital at 6:10. We get the car parked, and we're signing in by 6:20. I was told to find someone on the 2nd floor and they would take me to the monitoring room. I had a piece of paper with the nurse's name on it. All I needed was this piece of paper and we would be taken care of... now is where the fun and chaos begin.

I found a man in a blue blazer (meaning that he was there to help me and could speak a little bit of English). I had him my piece of paper, and he tells me to go to the 3rd floor. I instantly get this feeling in the pit of my stomach, because already I was being told to do something different than what I had been told previously. But, no big deal, we got on the elevator and as the doors were closing the guy comes to the door and says... "So, are you here for the...?" and motions to his stomach as if he is having it cut open. I said yes, I'm here for a C-section. "OH," he says then
you need to sign your name and go wait upstairs, someone will call you. I went over to the list, and much to my surprise I was number 20 on the list. Oh me, once my name is on the list we go to the 3rd floor and sit down, waiting...

A woman comes over and asks what we are waiting on after about 30 minutes. I told her I was waiting to be monitored for a C-section. She tells us to follow her. We go into another room and she says, "wait, someone will call you." We wait. Someone comes in just a few minutes, and there is an instant problem with the language barrier. We can't seem to find a nurse that speaks English, and I have no idea what the lady was asking me to do. Turns out that the lady on the 2nd floor that I met hadn't shown up for work yet, so I would be monitored on the 3rd floor instead. They tell Ben that he needs to go wait outside while I'm being monitored. I proceed to follow this nurse to the nurse's station. They are all frantically trying to find someone that speaks English, and my assumption is that they were unsuccessful, because I was told to follow this nurse into a room on the 3rd floor (except I wasn't actually told it was all communicated with hand motions). I go into this room and I needed to go to the bathroom, so I ask the nurse where the bathroom is, and I ask can I go. She says yes, and shows me where the bathroom is (all in Spanish). I go to the bathroom, and when I come out she's gone. No one is in the room. I sit down on the bed, confused and anxious. I sit and sit after about five or ten minutes I decide to go look for the nurse. I walk out the door, and I see her coming down the hallway.

She walks into the room, and tells me to lay down on the bed as she hooks me up to the fetal monitor. She then proceeds to ask me questions in Spanish. I keep telling her that I don't understand. She tries her best to communicate some of the questions in English, but it was not going well and she was getting frustrated. She's asking me all sorts of medical questions, at one point she just started skipping questions because she couldn't communicate, and I didn't understand. I thought to myself, "that's really comforting, I'm about to go in for a major surgery and she's just skipping questions... oh well." I realize at one point in this process that she is a bit confused about who my husband is. See, she asked me who my emergency contact was and I told her Chris Teague. Then she asked me who my husband was and I told her Benjamin Parmer. Somehow, in the midst of this interview process she got those switched, so it wasn't until the next day in the hospital that we worked out the fact that Ben was my husband NOT Chris. We found this quite humorous.

So, I am hooked up to the monitor, and all is well with the baby. I feel reassured and after one hour I'm back out in the waiting room with Ben. Once again, we were told "wait here, someone will call you." We continue to wait, and then we are directed to go down to the 2nd floor again, and wait in this area OUTSIDE!!! We had no idea what this place was, and we thought I'm 38 weeks pregnant, no where to sit, it's really hot outside, surely we won't be here for long. Three hours later someone actually calls my name and I go into another room and give another lady more information. She tells me to put on my hospital gown and then I would go to this room where I would be prepped for surgery.

She asked if my husband would be in the operating room, and I told her yes. I had been asked this before, and everytime I told them yes, he would be in there with me. She then asks me for the piece of paper. I did not have a piece of paper, nor did I know I needed one. She asks me, "did you pay the fee for your husband to attend the surgery?" Nope, I didn't know there was a fee. So, she calls Ben in the room, and tells him that he has to go downstairs to pay the fee at the registration desk, and come back to get suited up for the procedure. Here I am in my hospital gown scared to death that Ben would not be able to be in there for the surgery. He leaves to go pay the fee, and then I am sent to another room where there are about five other women in hospital beds lined up again this wall. I am put in one of the hospital beds, and to my knowledge this is where I will receive the i.v. and then will go into the O.R. I have yet to see a familiar face, and Ben still had not returned. I also had no idea what was going on, it was all guesswork.

Finally, I see a woman who seems to be one of the doctor's working on this floor, and I think she noticed that I seemed a little panicked. She comes over and explains to me in English that I would soon be getting my i.v. and then as soon as the O.R. becomes available I would be taken down there for the surgery. The hospital where we delivered is extremely small, so the prep room as well as the O.R. and recovery room is the same for all the patients having a procedure done. So, it wasn't just women having a baby, it was all surgeries for that day. I guess this is why I had to be by myself a lot, because there wasn't a lot of room for extra people.

I finally see Ben, and they make him go wait in a room until I am ready to go down to the O.R. The woman comes over and puts my i.v. in, and then a man comes over to talk to me. He would be the one doing my spinal block, and he spoke English as well. He actually lived in Birmingham for a while, and I was so thankful for being able to talk to him. Not long after he spoke with me, it seemed to be my turn, because he came to get me and wheel me to the O.R. Ben is still not able to come with us at this point, because he couldn't be in the room when I got my spinal. I kept worrying about how I would communicate that I wanted to make sure he was there. Another concern I had was that I had not laid eyes on my doctor all day long!

It's probably around 12:30 at this point, and I am waiting in the hallway for the O.R. to become available. I start to get anxious again, and I am reminding myself the whole time about scripture dealing with fear, and knowing that I just had to rest in the Lord! I go into the room, and it's time for my spinal. I meet another man who is assisting and he had lived in Chattanooga. He was another blessing, because he was with me from this point on until I went into recovery. So, I get the spinal all goes well, and then I realize that I still haven't seen my doctor. Ben comes into the room, and then the other doctor comes in. I realize at this point that my other doctor probably wouldn't be making it. Of course, that's what happened.

I remember Ben being emotional as they were performing the surgery, but I felt good the whole time, and I knew that God was in complete control. Ben didn't watch the procedure this time around, he just stayed focused on me until they told him to get ready with the camera. After about 10 minutes I heard the sweetest sound... the cry of our son. Thomas Wilson Parmer had arrived, and he sounded good. The one thing that I was most concerned about was that he would be big enough, and that he wouldn't have any trouble breathing on his own. The first thing the doctor says is, "he's a big, healthy baby boy." He weight 7lbs 14oz. and was 21 1/2" long, so that prayer was definitely answered.

Ben does not even get to hold Thomas one of the assistants brings him over so we can see him, and then off he goes with Ben following him to the nursery. This is where I start to get really nervous. Now, I am alone in the room being sewn up, and my son and husband are not with me. I am doing OK, because I know I only have one hour in recovery and then I will be with both of them!

I get wheeled to recovery and I'm lying flat on my back, they told me that they would sedate me after the procedure, but I told them no. I go into a room where there are other women recovering, and in this room no one speaks English. Or at least not at first. I'm lying there flat on my back with the shakes freezing to death, watching the clock and counting down until I am able to be taken to my room. An hour goes by, and I realize that I am getting some feeling back. I am in serious pain at this point, but I have no idea how to tell anyone. Finally, someone comes over and asks me how I'm doing. I tell them that I am getting my feeling back, and starting to feel a pretty good amount of pain. They send a nurse over and she gives me a shot in the butt. I didn't really feel the shot, until the next day! It didn't really touch the pain, but that was my only option.

A man comes over after about an hour and a half and I ask him when I will be able to go to my room. He asks someone to translate for him, and he then tells me that it will be another 2 1/2 hours because they have to wait until the 3:30 shift change. What the ?????? I was not a happy camper, and at this point, I knew I could not lay there like that for another 2 1/2 hours. A nurse came over and explained that they would get me to my room as soon as they could, so I decided that my only option was to lay there and try my best to be patient. About 45 mins. later, they come over and tell me that I will be going to my room. Another 45 mins. goes by and it's actually happening, I am begin wheeled out of recovery.

The first thing I see is my sweet husband's face, and he is worried sick. I didn't know it at the time, but he had no idea what was going on the entire time I was in recovery. I also didn't know that he had not even been able to hold our sweet little son. We get up to the 3rd floor and our on our way to our room. I forgot to mention that there are three types of rooms at the hospital; semi-private, private, and suite rooms. The semi-private rooms had to be shared and Ben could not stay with me. I had already told the guy doing my pre-registration that we wanted a private room. He told me that would be fine, and when we were discharged from the hospital Ben would need to come down and pay the difference. We're set, so I thought.

We go up to the 3rd floor, and I am being wheeled into this huge room. I am glad I noticed, because sure enough they were taking me to a semi-private room. Bless the guys' heart that was wheeling me around. He did not speak English, and at this point I lost it and began to cry my eyes out. I tried to tell him that we wanted a private room and not a semi-private room. He asked me if we had paid for the room. Of course, we had not because I was told to do that when we left the hospital. So, Ben had to go down to the pre-admin. desk once again and pay for us to have a private room. The entire time I am crying upstairs, still lying flat on my back, in a tremendous amount of pain and all I want to do is hold my baby!!! I tell the nurse, I am OK, but "yo quiero mi bebe." I just kept saying it over and over, meaning I want my baby!

Finally, Ben returns and they take us to a different room. On our way to our room, I see Ben's parents, our little Lydi, and a couple on our team the Burchs'. I immediately start crying again, as I try to communicate to them what a tough day it has been! Lydi has no idea why her mommy is lying down and crying and then to top it off Ben nor I had seen Thomas. I actually think Ben was able to go in and see him at some point during the day, but we still had not held him. We get to our room ,and Ben goes down to check on Thomas in the nursery.

He comes back and says that they were trying to get his body temp. stabilized, and as soon as they did that then they would bring him to our room. He was born at 1:26, and at 7:30 we were able to finally hold him. I was so overwhelmed with the day that I don't even remember much about that evening. I just know that he was precious, and I was so glad to be able to finally have him in our arms. He stayed with us and did not go back to the nursery only when he had to for tests. The days that followed in the hospital were not as stressful as the first, but still really tough. We could not communicate and had very little knowledge of what was going on. I was in A LOT of pain the first couple of days, and I could not wait to go home. We were able to leave on Thursday, even though we had to wait and wait for someone to bring a wheelchair so we could leave. I was so frustrated, and I wanted to just walk out, but we waited and were home by about 4:30 that day.

All in all, it was a crazy experience, one that was really tough to walk through. I know that the Lord had His plan the whole time, and even though it didn't look like I thought it would He is good and so are His plans!!! Thomas was healthy, I was healthy, and Ben was super stressed out! We've been home for 2 1/2 weeks, and I have really recovered well and quickly. Thankfully, we made it through having a baby here in another place and culture. We can look back at the day now and know that yes we would do things differently if we had it to do over again, but the truth is that we learned tons. It was hard in the midst of it to keep perspective, but the Lord constantly reminded me of the need to be patient, and still before Him. He has and had our best interest at heart, not only us but our ENTIRE family.

So, that's the story from my perspective. I know this was super long, and for those of you that took the time to read the whole thing, thanks! It's good for me to "relive" that day, but I am thankful that I won't have to go through it again!